What’s In a Name?
What’s In a Name?
I got a text from my granddaughter the other day where she referred to me as Grandmama. It made me smile. Later that day while they were at our house, my grandson called me Grandmother. That made me smile too. It took me back a little though. When I first became a grandma, I considered the options of what I might want to have my grandchildren refer to me as. I thought Mimi was cute, but I thought it maybe sounded a little, juvenile? Not that that would have bothered me because I am a little juvenile, so it could have been a good fit. But it also reminded me too much of a nickname that my dad gave to me that I didn’t love. Of course, I have never really liked my name in the first place, so I didn’t love any of my nicknames either. Speaking of nicknames though, funny story, my daughter Nicole, who we referred to as Niki, or Nik, most of the time, met, dated, fell in love with and married a guy named Nicholas, who went by Nick. They both had ‘nick’names. We started referring to them as ‘The Nicks’.
I know that there are women who feel that being called Grandma ages them somehow or that it doesn’t have enough personality, so they choose to be called by other, more modern, if you will, variations. My daughter’s mother-in-law loves Italy so she has chosen to go by the Italian word for Grandma, which is Nonna, but her grandchildren call her Noni. I love it and it fits her.
I have a sister who raised her children in Georgia so she went with a Southern expression commonly used in place of the more traditional term for Grandma, being called Mamaw, instead. Another sister went with a version that I feel is used quite often these days that carries a more youthful feel, that being Nana. My sister-in-law called her grandma Lil Gram when she was growing up because her grandma was only 4’11” tall. That sister-in-law then chose to have her grandchildren call her Grammy, as her grandma equivalent. Our children identified this same Lil Gram, who to them was their great-grandma, by Grandma followed by her last name. Others in the family called her Grandma Dott.
When I was growing up most grandmas I knew were differentiated only by the use of their various last names following their title of grandma–being Grandma Smith or Grandma Jones, for instance. I had a friend whose grandparents were from Germany, so they called their grandma, Oma.
When my mom became a great-grandma and her oldest great-grandchild could understand an explanation of what great-grandma means, he started calling her Grandma Great, and there it began, all the other great-grands referred to her as that as well.
There are probably about as many choices of endearing terms to call our grandmas as there are women who are in the grandma club. There are also many very loved women who become grandmas not because they have given birth to children who have given birth to children, but simply because they are loved in the same way. One thing is true, no matter how we refer to our grandmas, and that is that they hold a special place in our hearts. And that goes the same for all the Poppys, Pappys, Papas, Grandfathers, and Grandpas out there as well.
I know that to my nieces and nephews children, I am their great-aunt, even though they leave the ‘great’ off in conversation, not calling me great-aunt so and so, but I wasn’t sure what they are to me. When I looked it up a while ago I found that the terms Great-Niece/Nephew and Grand-Niece/Nephew could be used interchangeably. But the term Great indicates being removed by a generation.
Then, of course, there are 1st, 2nd, 3rd,… cousins, as well as those who are 2, 3, 4,… times removed, explaining the number of generations away they are from the original person. Those things can get pretty confusing for me to understand and trying to describe the way all of it works is even harder, a job better left to those who do more family history work than I do.
Whether the person you refer to by any of these or any other grandma names, is the one who feeds you anything you want to eat from her pantry, even if it’s cereal, and as much of it as you want, or if she’s the one who takes you shopping, or on fun adventures, or buys you things, or plays games with you, sings to you, reads you stories, dances with you, supports you in your activities, or responsibly lets you do things your parents can’t without breaking their rules or undermining their authority as your parents. Whether she lives far away, or close by so that you see her rarely to once a month or more, I know that being a grandma is the best and most rewarding position I can think of. It’s like we get all the fun and little of the work of raising a family. We’ve already done that, after all.
Names in general can be difficult to pronounce, to spell, or to remember. They can become confused one with another. For instance, every time our son Jonny moves, even if it’s between two locations detached from our home, our mail gets messed up because my husband’s name is John. My husband was reluctant to name our son Jonathan because he could see the potential of things getting confused in the future, but I thought their names were different enough, that we’d be okay, unlike those who become a Jr., or 2nd, or 3rd of the exact same name. I was wrong!
And then there’s the issue of spellings of names. Many names have multiple options of spellings. Add to one of those types of first names an uncommon, or easily misspelled last name and you get to spend your life spelling your name to people everywhere you turn. Or the other option is to just be okay with people never really knowing who you are by your name. This has been my experience. I get called all sorts of names–not usually the bad ones though.
Have you ever liked or disliked a particular name based on an experience with a person by that name? There are some names I really don’t like because of experiences that caused me or someone I love pain, for instance. On the other hand, there are names that I love or that bring a smile to my face because of the love I feel for someone with that name. We can make a good and lasting positive impression on others by the way we act, treat them, or make them feel. Or we can ruin our reputation and by so doing can impact how family members might be viewed by others due to our family connection.
When I was in school, I never needed to worry about what teachers or others might have thought of me based on whatever experience they may have had with an older brother or sister because my siblings never did anything to bring shame or embarrassment to our family name. However, I needed to live in a way that nothing I did would taint the family name either, and the same holds true today as well. There’s a quote by President Gordon B. Hinckley that says:
“Be true to who you are and the family name you bear.”
So, whether you are a grandma who reminds your grandchildren of Mrs. Clause, The Fairy Godmother, or even Mary Poppins, it doesn’t matter what name you go by for they will be endeared to that name because of you. I loved my grandma, so even though it may seem a little outdated or saved only for the “old” grandma’s, I’m good with the name Grandma because of her. I could also be called just about any other name and love that just as much because hopefully it is an expression of my grandchildren’s love for me.